Not Just a Study Session
by simply365tsll
Summary: When an unfortunate tradegy strikes, Buffy Summers finds herself in Cali with her Godfather Rupert Giles, his daughter Dawn, and Rupert's adopted son William "Spike" Giles. Not only has she moved, but starts a new school facing a tough senior semester with a schedule full of AP courses. A chance study session pushes her to reconsider her life and to accept a friendship she needs.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Joss Whedon owns everything.

 **Notes: Rated M for future chapters _just_ in case. lol New author so any help is appreciated. Thank you. :)**

 **Full Summary** : After Buffy Summers suffers a tragic accident involving her parents, she moves to California with her Godfather and legal guardian Rupert Giles, Dawn Giles, and William Spike Giles. Originally from Tennessee, Buffy Summers isn't used to Dawn's pace of weekly parties and socialite lifestyle while her father Rupert goes out of town on business almost every week. Without the hope of her cheerleading scholarship to her top choice college, the University of Tennessee, Buffy finds herself needing to stay focused her senior year in order to maintain a competitive GPA to attend any university. Even if it's just the local state university she's been contemplating. Buffy finds the ability to stay focused on her academics in the pool house where Rupert Giles' adopted son William "Spike" Giles stays while attending he's at university. Buffy finds, not only a place to study for her courses, but a friend who may not understand what she's going through, but is willing to listen and ultimately provides healing and hope for a future after her parents' death. AU. SPUFFY.

Buffy sat in her room _glaring_ at the pulsating door. _Was_ _it_ _really_ _necessary_ _to_ _have_ _the_ _music_ _that_ _loud_? The door to her room was vibrating. _Her_ _room_ _was_ _vibrating_. As if it couldn't get any worse she heard a guitar strike a high squealing noise followed by lots of cat calls and whistling.

 _That's_ _it_! Buffy let out an exasperated cry throwing her pencil against her textbook. AP Calculus quiz failed. She sat there for a few minutes devising a plan. Dawn had warned her there was going to be a party. That was basic grounds for, _look whatever studying you planned on getting done tonight won't happen._ She looked outside her window for some sort of assurance that this night wasn't going to be utterly useless. Her eyes caught something, lights being turned on in the pool house. Someone drawing the curtains. Spike was home. A place to study for AP Calculus. Buffy nodded in determination and stood up picking her graphing calculator and her Calc textbook off her desk. She loaded her backpack up with snacks she'd stowed in her room, her books, and cans of soda she'd stole from the kitchen for the sole reason of avoiding the party. She grabbed her jacket and opened the door to her room.

She immediately closed her door wishing she had a key to lock it. There were too many people out in the hall. Some were couples practically having sex with clothes on. Others were just being social and drinking from red plastic cups. A few smiled politely and let her pass without issue and others stared at her like she was a freak. She finally found her way to the bottom of the stairs. She squeezed her way in between people gyrating to the loud band and other people lining the kitchen.

"Heyyy Buffffyyy!" she recognized the voice and rolled her eyes before turning around.

"Xander." She smiled with tight politeness.

"Whoahh, what's with the look?" Xander slurred clutching, what was sure to be, not his first drink of the night. "Dude, where are you going. You can't study at a party. Are you wearing a _book bag_?" He snorted. Dawn had clearly not told him that Buffy hated parties and wasn't (read: didn't want to be) invited. Her and Spike were simply warned so that they could make alternate plans for the night.

"I'm actually going to study. Away from all the loud noise. You know. AP Calculus quiz tomorrow." She turned to leave having about enough of this boy and everyone else in the house. All this gyration and stench of alcohol was sure to make her sick. Being in the **_in_** crowd was not what it was made out to be. Clearly. She stepped around Xander ignoring any attempt at further conversation.

"Heyy, Bufffyyy, where are you going?"

"Xander, please. I've had enough tonight." Her eyes flashed with anger. She had little patience already and could see herself delighting in taking it entirely out on this annoying, obviously drunk, dude.

Xander lifted up his hands, "Alright, I'm offff. Havvee a greaattt night. I'll be here all night if you chhhhange your miinddd."

"Trust me, I won't." Buffy snipped. She pivoted on her heel and headed for the porch door. The night air hit her face like a baby's breath. Soft and new. She breathed a sigh of relief and headed towards the back lawn. She managed to make it past a few people hanging out on the porch without tripping over them. The farther she went in the backyard the quieter it became and the more in heaven she felt. She reached Spike's door at the pool house in a better mood than when she'd left the party. She knocked quietly.

 _Maybe_ _she_ _should_ _have_ _texted_ _first_...duh Buffy.

His head peeked out the curtains seeing her, "In a second, bit."

Buffy waited for few minutes. She tried to listen to any noises but heard none.

He answered the door. His hair was askew, not it's typical slick back appearance. A fresh shower smell of goodness emitted from his warm body. Buffy blushed lightly and looked at him through her lashes, "Do you mind if I look over my Calculus notes here? It's so loud in my room. I could hardly concentrate." She flashed an apologetic smile for her intrusion.

He blinked, "Yeah, no course not, love."

The manly smell of the pool house hit Buffy's nose so strong she almost groaned. God it smelled good. Collogue and a faint smell of musk. She looked around at all the papers and clothes. She blushed again realizing she'd just stepped into a man's private home...without giving him much notice. A place where he did all sorts of stuff. Private things. Sexy things. Involving his strong and calloused hands. _And_ _on_ _that_ _note_ _Buffy_ _you're_ _a_ **_perv_**.

Spike started pulling clothes off of the couch and tables. Here and there he moved around. "Sorry the place is a mess, pet. Don't have much time to clean between work and school. Please come in." He spun around and tossed some clothes towards his bedroom. They landed in a scattered pile just outside of the door.

"How is that by the way?" Buffy quietly shut the door and walked into the tiny house setting her backpack down next to the couch. "The whole college thing?" Buffy was seriously curious.

"It's a 'college' thing. A bit different from high school. Loads more work." Spike had finished tossing stuff about and turned to his guest situated on the couch. She looked out of place _and yet_... yet she looked like she'd been sitting there like this was a routine every night. There was just something about _this girl_ that made everything fit around her. He'd noticed it the first time he'd met her, when Giles had brought her home after...He ran his hands through his hair to distract his sullen thoughts.

"I have to start thinking about all that soon." Buffy admitted softly. Her plans had changed after...She was no longer a cheerleader and she was sure her cheerleading scholarship to the University of Tennessee was no longer available. She was on her own. Kinda like an average person who didn't play sports. Fighting with the masses for top choice colleges. "I might just settle for a state school close to here." She offered off handedly. Not really thinking she had much of a choice now. She felt that her college plan was blown.

"Oh no, bit. You deserve so much better for yourself." Spike sat down on the couch giving Buffy enough space of her own. She looked at him. Aware of how close he was. He was aware too, but he made an effort not to take notice. This wasn't about that, this was about her and what she was talking about at this moment. She needed to know that she deserved better because of everything that had happened to her. She deserved so much better than the hand life had dealt her.

"You should study up and retake the SATs or take them if you haven't already. See where you end up. I wouldn't settle now. You settle now and you'll end up like me."

"Yeah," Buffy's eyes were clouded with frustration of some sort. Spike couldn't place it. Mysterious young woman. "You don't have it so bad. Giles is generous for letting you stay here. I'm sure I could just attend class and stay."

"What was your plan originally? I know you had one." He asked trying to draw her out. He turned towards her lifting his arm to drape across the sofa. He lightly touched her arm then. Just slightly to spur her into conversation.

Buffy felt goose bumps rise on her arm as he touched it. She knew he meant it to be friendly but she couldn't help the way her heartbeat picked up. She kept looking at him to see if he realized what it was doing to her but he never showed a sign, the only thing on his face and in his eyes was concern. "I had a full ride to my first choice." She looked down at the floor through her lashes. And that's all she wanted to say about that, making it clear the subject of her parents and her previous life were _off limits_. He just looked at her, saw her sadness, unwillingness to talk about it, he furrowed his eyebrows, and pursed his lips. He looked as if he was considering something.

 _Good job, Buffy, now you sound like a huge downer._ "I don't know. I could still probably apply anyways." She smiled at him and reached down to unzip her backpack pulling out her calculator and textbook to continue her homework she'd started in her room. She tossed him a snack from her bag and motioned to a soda. He shook his head so she just grabbed one for her herself. She ripped the snack package open with her teeth and began studying wiping away tiny crumbs she dropped into the textbook.

Spike took the cue and walked over to the door grabbing his own bookbag and returning to the couch. He eyed her cautiously. He wanted to pull her into his arms, to study with her, to breath the smell of the skin on her neck. To kiss her neck. He was surprised by these feelings. He swallowed them down and turned his attention to reading for one of his college classes.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you for the follow and interest in this fic. Sorry it took so long between posts. I have pretty bad writer's block and I don't like to force myself to write. I just sort of do it when it flows easily. This is more of a story building chapter. I hope you like it! Any feedback is welcome! :)**

 _Glass flew past her head as she was spinning with the vehicle as it tumbled over and over again. She heard her mom crying out in pain and the sound of her father's head smacking against the passenger side door. Her eyes grew dim as her mother turned around to see her. Joyce Summers' bright blue eyes were filled with a well of tears and blood was matted to her hair. She was saying something to Buffy she couldn't hear. "I love you?" "I'm sorry?" Buffy felt her throat tighten, her mouth dropping open. She was screaming out of fear and frustration because she was terrified and it felt like someone hit the mute button. She couldn't hear a sound except a steady ringing in her ears._

 _She looked beyond her mom, sharp tree tops were coming towards the front of the vehicle. A big and thick pine tree sliced through the already busted wind shield. She thought the tree might grab her as it plunged through the vehicle. Instead it sliced at her face and punctured through the back seat like it was butter. She felt something wet on her face trickle down and dribble to her cheerleading uniform. The air was filled with an acrid smell. Blood, car exhaust, air bags, trees. She would forever hate the smell of a Christmas Tree because of that._

 **9 months later...**

Buffy found Dawn Giles in the kitchen after school the next day. She was feeling confident she'd knocked her AP Calculus quiz out of the park earlier that day. This class would be the death of her for sure. It was every bit as hard as it sounded. There were two exams worth 50 points a piece, one before Christmas break and another at the end of the Spring. There were no projects or class participation grades. Just quizzes (10 points) and the exams. The teacher, Ms. Calendar, explained that in college this was the level of effort expected. She wanted to provide her students with an authentic college experience since Advance Placement courses were college preparatory classes.

"Hey B. Sorry about all the noise last night." Dawn commented while she was scrolling through her phone with one hand and munching on an apple with the other. Buffy figured she was on Frienstagram looking at how many people had commented or "liked" her pictures from the other night. Buffy had noticed before school that a number of photos were posted...mostly of people Buffy didn't recognize holding solo cups and hugging each other for photos. There were a couple of good ones of Dawn and her best friend Cordelia Chase.

"It's okay, you warned me so I should have made other plans. It was _really_ loud though, Dawn. I'm surprised the neighbors didn't complain. I ran into Xander Harris while I was attempting to escape. That was a nightmare. I got some studying at pool house last night with Spike so it's all good." She was careful and kept her voice nonchalant as she relayed her encounter with Spike. She didn't want to seem eager to talk about him, studying with him had seemed...something she didn't want to share with Dawn.

Dawn's eyebrows shot up but her attention was still glued to her phone, "Neighbors don't complain when they're skiiing in Colorado. Yikes, sorry about Harris. He can be an ass sometimes. I hope Spike didn't bother you. I know dad talked to him about you before you got here... "

 _Talked with **him** about **me**?_ "No! I mean, no he was fine. I think I aced my AP Calc quiz so that's good." Buffy replied walking over to the fridge and pulling out a bottle of water. _Why would Rupert talk to Spike about me?_ _What would he have said?_ _It was probably about what happened...why I'm here. Details of...okayyy_. Buffy meditated on this while considering an afternoon run. The weather was semi-cool for a sunny California day. Perhaps she could get in 5 miles before it was too late. That would certainly ease her mind from the nightmare she'd had the previous night...

Dawn looked up from her phone finally. She gave Buffy a pointed stare, "You really need a night out if you think acing a _Calculus_ quiz is the high point of your day." It wasn't meant to be mean, but when Dawn met someone who didn't put their social status as a priority, she took on this "tisk tisk" tone that Buffy could not stand. Buffy noticed her temper increased tenfold around Dawn because of her sheer ignorance outside of the material things of life.

Buffy turned her head attempting to hide her angry flashing green eyes filled with annoyance. At this particular moment, she wanted to inform _Dawnie_ \- her nickname among friends- that not everybody had parents to pay for a full ride to college. Not everybody could be a social debutante and get accepted to the school of their choice because their father graduated from there and served on the alumni board. Losing her parents changed Buffy's entire life, unlike Dawn, she would have to fight for every opportunity hereafter.

Since her conversation with Spike the night before, she had thought about what he said regarding college. It did seem to Buffy that just giving up on her chances to attend a good college wouldn't be what her parents would want for her if they had a say now. She was just...depressed...which was an understatement. Life had just gone on without Hank and Joyce Summers just as easily as it went on with them alive. Buffy was expected to make plans that she found pointless sometimes because she wanted to make them with her parents. The excitement over college was something she enjoyed talking about and planning with her mother most, Joyce Summers. Especially since recruiters were offering her a scholarship in exchange for being in competitive cheerleading at UT. Cheerleading was another thing that Buffy and her parents did together. It was a goal that she worked towards with her parents as her main support system. It didn't make sense to carry on without them. And then there was the money issue of college itself which she'd avoided mentioning to Spike the night before...

She knew her parents hadn't planned for a tragedy like this. _Who in the world ever did?_ Buffy and Rupert had discovered after she laid her parents to rest, there wasn't much left in terms of life insurance money. Buffy would gain access to her mother's retirement, however, that was several years down the road. Long after most of her major life decisions like college, a career, and lifestyle were already made. Rupert had offered, several times, to help in any way that he could. Rupert had offered to pay for Buffy's first year at the state college she had mentioned attending. She was still considering his offer because if she got good grades she wouldn't need help affording it hopefully. But...she hadn't mentioned or entertained going anywhere outside of the college she had discussed with Rupert. She couldn't ask him to fit the bill for something like that. Especially since she was no longer qualified for her competitive cheerleading scholarship. Once again her mind returned to maybe going local was her only choice...

After Dawn left with a group of friends for a dinner party for someone - Buffy didn't recognize the name of whoever it was- she threw on her running shoes thankful to have time alone to turn things over in her head. Running had always been a way to ease stress from her life even prior to cheerleading. She had been in track when she was younger for the recreational department, but during middle school she switched to cross country for the school's team. After cheerleading season was over at her old high school, she would participate in track and field to stay in shape.

She turned up the road from Dawn's house and made it to the main road of their subdivision. She ran until dusk, pumping her legs through various streets. When the light started to drift below the clouds she returned back to the Giles' residence, spent, hungry, and ready for bed. She loved running until exhaustion because she found it helped her sleep much better. She was certain no nightmares would come to claim her tonight.


	3. Chapter 3

***I apologize for not updating for a while! Things have been super busy at work. Here's the next chapter...starting to get into the thick of things now. More to come from these two!***

Buffy stared at the computer screen, _frustrated Buffy mode_ is in full swing tonight. She glared at the screen of her laptop as she typed the final part of her argument for her paper due tomorrow. She whined, "Can someone please explain to me why analyzing _Hamlet_ is necessary for me to graduate?" She finished typing out her final sentence and spun around sounding off dramatically, "I absolutely hate English. I hate it with the _fiery passion of death from the bottom of my soul_." She placed her hand upon her heart for extra dramatics.

Spike looked up from the book he was reading with an expression of amusement, " _Hey, hey,_ there will be none of that talking about English in this space. This is a safe space for English, yeah? _Hamlet_ is not that bad, pet. Now I wouldn't sign up to reread Macbeth any time soon though. That one just made my skin crawl."

Buffy wrinkled her nose and turned around to face him more fully. "I have never liked English. You know what subjects I like to study? Science, History, Math, Physics…something with facts. Subjects with a definite answer. Literature is interpretive bullshit with millions of answers to one question. No, thank you. I'll take the straight forward any day."

Spike scoffed, " _Interpretive bullshit_? Right, well suit yourself, love. It's official, then, our friendship is doomed. I'm a literature major." He bit the skin next to his thumbnail raising his eyebrows.

"Just because I don't like literature as a subject doesn't mean we can't be friends, Spike." Buffy teased, "It just means one of us lives in _the real world_ …while the other one prefers a _fictional world_. What made you want to be a literature major anyways?"

He pointed the book he was reading at Buffy and said, "Hey, I resent that comment. I live very much in the _real world_ , goldilocks, and you would do well to remember that." He paused for a moment and swung around walking over towards the table Buffy was sitting at, "Ever since I was a young kid I've enjoyed poetry and books. I'm bloody awful at writing and there's no money in that anyways. So…that leaves teaching which if I can understand what these poofs are trying to tell people like you I guess that's what I should do." He sat down at the table where Buffy was sitting turning his blue eyes on the small petite blond in front of him.

Buffy smiled rolling her eyes. "I _guess_ that's a reasonable explanation. So that's what you want to do when you finish school? You want to teach?"

"Ah. You mean wanting to be a teacher means you're reasonable and live in _'the real world'_?" Spike chuckled his eyes twinkling, "Yes, that's the plan for now." He countered, "So what is it you want to do, bit? After college?"

Buffy shifted uncomfortably. _Why is he always asking these questions?_ She hated talking about herself.

"I'm not really sure. Sometimes…I think about being a counselor in a high school. It's such a tough age you know?" Buffy offered.

Spike gave Buffy a warm smile, "Yeah, I don't remember much about being 17, I've honestly tried to repress it, but from what I remember it is incredibly tough." Spike studied Buffy for a minute and then said, "I think you'd be good as a counselor. After what you've gone through? Yes." Spike's eyes searched the face of the small girl in front of him wishing he could read what it was she was thinking. She wouldn't look him in the eye, she seemed to be staring off somewhere beyond here, he cut into her thoughts with, "Listen, Rupert talked to me…."

Buffy looked up at him pulling herself from her revere of green pine trees and the smell of air bags, "Yeah, I know. Dawn told me," she whispered softly.

Spike's mouth snapped shut not wanting to say anything to upset her and sound stupid.

"You don't have to say anything. There's nothing to say and I'm not ready to talk about it." Buffy felt like she was starting to suffocate. The next questions out of Spike's mouth could open up multiple conversations that she was not ready for with anyone, especially not someone she barely knew. She knew Spike meant well, but this topic was off limits. She got up from the table closing her laptop. She placed her hands on the top of her laptop and opened her mouth to thwart him off further her green eyes blazing with anger, "It's-"

Spike, without a blink, held up a hand to stop her speech. Buffy studied his flaked black nail polish as he said, "You can just stop there, pet. I know that you're not ready to talk about what happened. You're a strong woman, I get that, don't need a man mucking it all up. Probably don't want or need any more complicated in your life, bit. That's fine, but maybe at some point you'll want to talk, yeah? Would you at least keep me in mind? That's all I have to say. No lectures…from the much hated future literature teacher." His lips twisted up into a devilish grin.

Buffy smiled, appreciating the respect he'd shown her for not pressing the subject.

"I'll think about it." She quipped and she resumed packing her laptop and study materials.

Later that night in her room Buffy sat in her bed fixing her hair into tiny pigtails before bed. She thought about when she was little and her mom used to brush her hair before school. She'd fix her hair into curls with pretty pink, white, purple, or blue ribbons. She closed her eyes wishing she could recall her mother's voice while she talked to her while doing her hair, but the more days that passed after the accident, the less Buffy could recall about the small details of her parents. Buffy could not understand how the brain could forget small details from those she loved so much, who raised her, and supported her. Didn't her brain understand those small memories were all she had left of her parents?

She curled up into her bed, turning the bedside table light off, and closed her eyes. She could smell the pine trees long before the dream began and she smelled them long after she thrashed awake sweating and blinking blearily.


	4. Chapter 4

"Hi, good afternoon Ms. Summers, thank you for coming by my office. I'm Robin Wood the school counselor. Most of the students here call me Mr. Wood," he said flashing a bright smile. He appeared to be in his early thirties with dark mocha skin and a shaved head. Buffy admired his overall fashion, not many could pull off a shaved head and make it look good. He stood up from his desk and offered his hand to Buffy and she took it settling into the cushy chair opposite of the counselor's desk.

"Not a problem, Mr. Wood. I understand that you wanted to go through my schedule for next semester?"

"Yes, and no, actually. Buffy, it's been brought to my attention, by some negligence on my part, that this is your first semester at this school. You transferred from," Mr. Wood looked down at Buffy's file finding her transcript, "Tennessee?"

Buffy shifted uncomfortably in the big cushioned chair, "That's correct, sir, yes."

"I apologize that I didn't do this before, but normally when a student under my care transfers, I like to see them in my office for a least one session to ensure the transfer between schools is going well. Some people can find transferring schools to be an adjustment. Depending on their response, I normally set up a follow-up session if I feel that it's necessary. Do you mind if I ask why you transferred from the East coast?" he replied.

Buffy cleared her throat. _Here we go_ , she thought defensively, "You can. My Godfather, Rupert Giles lives here. I moved here because he is now my legal guardian."

"Your Godfather? I never had one of those, you must feel incredibly fortunate to have him in your life?" Mr. Wood asked warmly.

"Yes, I do actually. It was incredibly sudden, having to move here I mean, and he's been very supportive and I haven't felt like I've been an intrusion into his life which I was worried about at first." Buffy responded.

"What does he do? As a profession, I mean?" Mr. Wood asked.

"He's in business. I don't exactly understand all the technicalities, but he's out of town quite a lot because of work which I understand. He's back and forth to San Diego quite a bit." Buffy fiddled with the fabric on the chair as she said this.

"What do you think about him being so absent all the time? Do you mind?" he asked.

"No, I mean he's got to do what he's got to for work. I understand that. Again, I'm just very thankful he has been willing to take me in. He already has a daughter, Dawn Giles, I'm sure you've heard of her, she goes here, and Spike, his adopted son, he's at the local community college."

Mr. Wood shrugged and replied, "The name rings a bell, but I can't say that I've ever seen Dawn. This a big school as I'm sure you've noticed. Sounds like you've got a full house? Do you have siblings?"

"No, actually. I was an only child. My parents liked our dynamic so much, they were always afraid that it would change if they had another child. It's a bit of a change, having other people around that are the same age as you. Expecting you to spend time with them constantly. All three of our personalities are so different. It's definitely taken some getting used to." Buffy answered.

"If you don't mind me asking, what was the dynamic of you and your parents? What were they so afraid of losing exactly?" he asked curiously.

"Well, from what my mom told me, my parents tried to have a child for a long while. Then I came along without them even planning to have me. We did everything together. We would plan these trips on the weekends when I was kid to random places just to get away. They would create these little puzzles to help me figure out where we were going. Then when I got older I started participating in a lot of sports at school. When I was in middle school I tried out for cheerleading, much to my parent's surprise. I was always flying around the house, doing somersaults on my bed, and I just wanted the opportunity to put all that energy into something cool. I'm not really sure what they saw me doing in terms of hobbies, but I don't think it was cheerleading. I was bit with the competitive cheerleading bug from the time I made my middle school's team until…until I moved here. My parents were incredibly supportive and attended all the football games, competitions, and sometimes even the practices."

"Sounds like that really meant a lot to you."

"Yes, absolutely." Buffy replied softly.

"So, you said that you aren't doing cheerleading here. What are you doing? I noticed that almost all of your classes are Advanced Placement this semester. That means you must be interested in a four-year college somewhere. Just so you're aware, it takes more than just AP courses to get the attention of a university now days. You're going to need extracurriculars on your college applications."

Buffy let out a frustrated sigh, "Somehow I figured you would say that."

"I'm not here to lecture you, Buffy. But I am here to keep you informed and to help you. I would hate to see you put all this work into classes and then not get accepted to where you wanted."

"Well, that's the problem, Mr. Wood. I don't know where I want to go."

"I'm lost. Forgive me, but your parents sound like the kind of people who had a plan for their daughter who was about to start her senior year of high school." He offered.

"Yes, well, um, originally. Before I moved here, I…kind of planned on attending the University of Tennessee. I was offered a scholarship my junior year of high school. My parents and I spent a lot of time making highlight videos and meeting with the cheerleading coach at UT. They were very enthusiastic about having me on the team and I was excited about attending UT. But, Mr. Wood, I'm not doing cheerleading anymore and it's not like I've got much going for me outside of that. I don't have a savings plan for college and the thought of taking out loans makes me uncomfortable. Honestly, recently, I've been wavering towards attending the local community college. A degree, is a degree. And if I can pay for it myself, or perhaps do well on my AP exams, then that would exempt me from a lot of those freshman year classes. I figured it would save me money."

"That's a very well flushed out back up plan for sure Buffy, but- " Mr. Wood began but she ignored him.

"Do you know what UT said when I told them I wasn't interested in competitive cheerleading anymore, Mr. Wood?"

"I would imagine they were shell shocked after you spent all of your years honing your craft to just walk away from something that quickly."

"You would think that wouldn't you? But actually, you're wrong. They replaced me. Easily. They found another girl to take my scholarship. Actually, they already had someone in mind, they told me as much before I got off the phone with them. And do you know what's funny? It didn't bother me. It actually made me realize that the only reason I liked cheerleading was because of my parents. It was something we did together. And now that…well, obviously that part of my life is in the past, my _back up_ plan is my plan, Mr. Wood."

Mr. Wood was silent. Finally, he smiled and said, "Okay, Buffy. Listen, I think we should end here for today, but I would like to see you again, next week if that's ok?"

Buffy smarted and responded in a cynical tone, "What…have you _determined_ I'm one of those 'can't handle transferring schools' students?"

"No, I think you've handled that quite nicely, better than most I would venture. But, I sense an uneasiness with you under the surface. There are a few things I would like to unpack. Besides, I would like the opportunity to get to know one of our newest students. If that's okay with you?"

"So, I'm a psychology experiment for you. You want to open me up, inspect my insides, and patch me back up." She accused.

"No, Ms. Summers. Let me be very clear. The students that I see at this school attend our sessions because they want to be here. You are free to talk about whatever you want with me. I'm not going to push you to talk about something you don't want to or are not ready to open up about. But, I will be honest with you and it is inevitable that I will get very frustrated with you. At the end of the day, it's your life. I say all of this with the caveat that just because I'm asking to see you again doesn't mean that's what you want. Just think about it and get back to me." Mr. Wood pulled out his notepad where he wrote his excuses for students who missed class. He wrote something quick and pulled the paper free from the pad. He handed it to Buffy with a small smile and rolled his chair over to his computer sending the signal that their session was over.

Buffy took the note and looked down at the excuse he provided for the hour she missed of gym class. She grabbed her things, exited his office and headed for AP Literature. _Why couldn't this get her out of Lit class instead of her gym period?_

 **** This chapter went through several iterations. I'm still not completely happy with it. But I have an overall vision of where I would like this story to go and I believe that chapter gets me a step closer towards that goal.**


	5. Chapter 5

Nights like tonight were Buffy's favorite in the Giles household. Every Friday night, when Rupert wasn't out of town for business, he and Dawn cooked dinner for the house from one of the many family cookbooks. Normally afterward, Dawn would head out to Venice High's football game to meet up with friends and Buffy would find herself on the comfy couch in the living room watching TV or a movie. Sometimes Rupert would join her and other times it was both Spike and Rupert who would watch a movie or TV with her. Her favorite part about this tradition was on nights like this the sting of her parents' absence was less painful and she almost felt like a normal teenager just sitting down on a Friday night for dinner and a movie with her family.

She was up in her room listening to the sounds coming from the kitchen downstairs. She heard Dawn's bubbly laugh, followed by the timer on the oven going off. Rupert was singing "Soul Man" by Sam and Dave, the timbre of his voice overpowering the volume of the speakers. Buffy was already getting ahead on her next paper for AP Literature, a review of Henry Vaghn's poem "The World" due next week. She was in the middle of reviewing the paragraph she just wrote when she heard a knock at her door. She glanced over from her desk to find Spike leaning languidly against her doorway simply dressed in all black from his cotton t-shirt to his trademark combat boots.

His head motioned towards the laptop at her desk, "Going to give it a rest tonight, pet?"

She nodded smiling. She hadn't really spoken to Spike since she'd worked on her Hamlet paper in the kitchen of the pool house the previous weekend. The truth was, it didn't matter that she hadn't seen him, he had been on her mind regardless. She'd turned over and over again the words he'd said prior to her leaving that night.

' _That's fine, but maybe at some point, you'll want to talk, yeah? Would you at least keep me in mind? That's all I have to say.'_

Spike pushed off the doorframe and wandered into Buffy's room. He looked around noting the subtle changes she'd made to the room since the first time he'd been in here. When Buffy first arrived at the Giles home, Spike had helped her hang all of her decorations on the walls and reassembled her furniture when Rupert wasn't available. She could still remember him holding a nail between his teeth as she held the level in place so they could place each picture frame on the wall. He fingered a picture of Buffy and her parents by her closet. It was taken her freshman year of high school when she was voted on the Freshman Homecoming Court. Buffy and her parents were huddled in close smiling at the camera on the football field.

He moved on and eventually turned and sat down on her bed. He sat forward a bit placing his elbows on his knees watching the small blonde with his blue eyes. He was so close their knees could touch if Buffy shifted her body in line with his. Instead, she kept her body facing the computer closing the laptop with a soft click.

"How was your week?" she asked trying _and failing_ to ignore Spike's proximity in this position.

"It was fine, for someone who doesn't…what was it you said, pet? _'Live in the real world'_?"

"Never going to let me live that one down," Buffy remarked playfully.

Spike's lips formed a smirk, "No."

Buffy sighed and shook her head.

His long frame leaned back onto her bed his hand pulling a pillow underneath his head to cushion it. He watched her for a moment before he asked, "So what's new with you?"

Buffy couldn't help but admire Spike's body stretched out on _her bed_. _Does he really have to do that?_ She wondered. After a minute she realized she had yet to respond and said, "Nothing really. You'll be happy, this assignment I'm working on is the first of many papers. We've entered the Poetry section of AP Literature. Yak."

"Careful, pet. I know a bloke who is very familiar with poetry." Spike mentioned.

"Oh, I'm sure you do." Buffy teased.

At that moment, Dawn entered Buffy's room and announced, "Dinner's ready!" She skipped out hitting the stairs two a time. Buffy and Spike exchanged amused looks and he pushed up from the bed. They exited out of her room together and came down the spiral staircase towards the kitchen.

The Giles household was organized differently compared to the home designs Buffy was used to in Tennessee. Almost every modern neighborhood in her hometown had a Shingle style architecture and all the homes looked the same minus the color and trim. In Los Angeles, Buffy found the variations in building architecture refreshing. The Giles house was styled after a European country home. There was floor to ceiling windows on the first floor and a terrace on the second floor where the master bedroom was located. Around the side and back of the house were windows signifying the second and third bedrooms with private bathrooms. The back of the house had double glass doors on the first floor instead of windows that could be opened to let a breeze blow into the home for entertainment. The inside of the home was almost all hardwood and the walls were an ivory with wooden trim. Buffy's favorite part of the house, however, was the backyard. Their house was situated on a piece of land that faced a canal. The water was hardly ever turbulent and provided a nice natural sound of flowing water down the canal. There was a small garden area off of the patio with various potted plants, a firepit, chairs and a pool with an adjacent pool house.

When Buffy and Spike landed in the kitchen Dawn asked, "Buffy, can you get the placemats and silverware and set up the patio?" She was removing what looked like a casserole from the oven.

Buffy removed the placemats and silverware from their respective drawers and set up the outdoor table on the patio. The breeze felt nice tonight as she moved around the table setting each place and returning to the kitchen for wine glasses. Whenever they ate together, Giles allowed Dawn and Buffy to drink wine with their food. Giles and Spike typically either had a few craft brews or joined in drinking wine. Buffy walked over to the fridge and removed the bottle of Barbera that had been set there earlier for tonight. She extracted the wine opener from the silverware drawer. Spike was sitting at the island on one of the tall counter stools watching and Buffy motioned with the wine bottle and glasses to him. He shook his head and she reached back into the fridge and hooked the remaining fingers available around a beer bottle. She brought it from the fridge and received an affirmative nod from Spike.

"Buffy, love, can you get me one of those too, please?" Giles called from the open double glass doors setting what appeared to be the final dish on the table on the patio.

Spike jumped up from the chair, "I'll get those, don't worry about. You take care of the wine." When he took the beer bottle from her hands his fingers gently brushed hers. Buffy looked up to see if Spike had noticed the touch, but he appeared to be too busy pulling the other beer out of the fridge.

When he closed the fridge and found her still standing there he tilted his head with a curious smile, "You okay, pet?" He reached out and placed his hand on her shoulders. His touch was featherlight, but that was all she needed to _feel_ it. And felt it, she did. She felt her skin zing at the brush of his fingers.

"Yeah, I'm g-good." She said in a breath.

She looked up into his azure eyes and for a moment there was a pause between the two of them. He seriously studied her face and she mirrored him. When she blinked it was over, she felt her body being moved to the side, and Spike gently brushing past her. Her body jumping with his contact on her shoulder, arms and side.

Before she realized it she was already alone in the kitchen. _Alright, Buff, what the fuck now. Let's get it together._

She returned to the patio table, handing Rupert the Barbera and opener finally sitting down at the remaining place at the table.

"This looks really good, Dawn." Buffy piped up holding her plate in one hand and spooning pasta casserole in the other.

"Thanks, you can always trust the family cookbook."

"It's editable food, little bit. I'm chuffed." Spike added smiling impishly at Dawn.

"Who wants wine?" Rupert asked pulling the final bit of the cork out of the bottle.

Buffy and Dawn raised their glasses and Rupert filled them setting the bottle down. Rupert and Spike started to fix their plates as Buffy and Dawn ate in silence.

"So," Rupert smiled, "How has school been? Dawn, Buffy?"

"Great!" Dawn replied, "I somehow managed to convince the football coach that we should start doing that Touchdowns for Cancer fundraiser that a lot of the other schools around Venice are doing this season. We are donating some of our proceeds tonight to St. Jude's Children's Research Hospital. Hence my t-shirt!"

Buffy looked at Dawn's t-shirt noting that it had the school's colors and displayed the logo for St. Jude's Children's Research Center on it. She couldn't help but admire her, _for just a moment_ , she thought. She had volunteered to help at one of Dawn's fundraising events at the beginning of the semester helping receive school supplies donations for children in the area. She had to admit, Dawn had a knack for organizing large events and getting everybody on board because of her bubbly personality. Buffy wasn't surprised that she was able to convince the football coach to donate some of the ticket sales at the game for charity.

"Dawn, that's great news," Rupert replied with a kind smile. You could always tell he was proud of Dawn and the fundraisers she organized at school. He turned to Buffy, "How are you adjusting to the AP classes? Dawn told me you're taking several?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. It's just AP Calculus, AP Literature, and AP Biology. It's really not that big of a deal."

Dawn impersonated Buffy in a joking manner, "No big deal. I basically don't have a life."

Buffy laughed, "That's about right it seems."

Spike pointed his fork at the blonde and said, "This one, always working on a paper. How many papers is it you have to write for AP Lit, love?"

"One paper for every section. So, right now we're studying poetry and the teacher has _ever so generously_ split up the papers into mini-reviews of each poem that is on the reading list."

"I'm glad I chose not to take that course," Dawn said with her phone in hand looking at something on a social media app.

"Much to my dismay." Rupert chimed, "But I am happy to see you filling your time with something other than _parties…._ all the time."

Dawn stuck her tongue out at her dad.

"So, I talked to my professor about teaching English to students in high school the other day. She seems to think I would be good at, and I think so, but I've got to figure out what all I will need to do in order to get a teaching certification." Spike offered in between bites of pasta. He paused and took a swig of his beer catching Buffy's eye as he did. He held eye contact with her as he set the beer down and raised his eyebrows playfully.

Buffy sheepishly looked away feeling blood rush to her face. _Why was it suddenly so hot in here?_ She blamed the wine.

Spike dabbed his mouth with a napkin hiding a satisfied smirk at her reaction.

"That's great!" Rupert responded taking a swig of his beer and continuing with his pasta, "You know, I have a colleague at work who has a daughter that teaches. I could probably ask him what certifications she had to acquire. I think there's an exam you have to take, isn't there?"

Spike replied, "Yes, but my professor has had a couple of students that have taken those exams and have received their certifications to teach in the state of California. They weren't in a teaching cohort or anything. I'm definitely going to reach out to them and find out."

Spike's gaze floated back over to Buffy again. The petite blonde seemed to find her dinner plate extremely interesting now. Spike found this all too amusing.

"I think Spike teaching English is the perfect job for him." Dawn pipped-up setting her phone down and sipping the rest of her wine, "Dad, if it's okay, I'd like to go ahead and head out to the game. We've got to get the tables set up at the entrance. The set-up crew is already texting me."

"That's fine, dear. I love you, sweetheart," Rupert replied. Dawn picked up her plate and bent down to kiss her father on the cheek.

"Love you," she responded.

"Just set the dishes on the counter. I'll do them later." Rupert instructed.

"Bullocks that. You lot cooked. I'll do dishes, yeah?" Spike interjected.

"Bye, bit. Love you." Spike murmured as Dawn hugged his neck with her free hand. Dawn hummed in response and Spike kissed the top her head. She released Spike and was off through the double glass doors into the kitchen.

Buffy's heart clenched. She'd heard him say that he loved Dawn before. He said it frequently and always when they parted from each other. She'd always thought it was incredibly sweet, but it affected her differently this time. Something within her stomach tightened at his open expression of love for his adopted sister.

Spike turned his attention back to the table finding Buffy gazing at him again. But when he silently returned her attention for several seconds, she didn't look away. She still blamed the wine.

And so, the night ended with Buffy on the comfy couch, being shooed from the kitchen by Spike. Rupert excused himself for the evening, telling her goodnight, and kissing her on the head. She watched him climb up of the spiral staircase and when he was gone she turned back to the TV.

 _Pine trees. Glass breaking. Her mother mouthing something to her, was it 'I love you' was it 'I'm sorry'? The tree slams through the car windshield and blood splashes onto her cheerleading uniform…everything in her vision starts shaking…someone is calling her name…someone is shaking her…._

" _Buffy!"_

She jolts awake hard and suddenly she is falling. It takes her a second to process that she was on the couch and she's about to hit the hardwood floor. But she doesn't, instead, someone with strong arms catches her scooping her up into their lap tucking her head into their neck.

She smells musk, hair gel, peppermint. Her hands grasp a cotton black shirt. She's sweaty and a sob exits out of her mouth before she can cram it back down. Thick tears blur her vision partially because she is embarrassed she's been found like this by _him_ and partially because of the nightmare.

"What the _fuck_." his voice, barely above a whisper.

 **Note: Sorry it took me so long to post this chapter. I was out of town on business for work and didn't have time to complete it prior to leaving. Let me know what you think? :) How do you think this whole Spike discovering Buffy has pretty intense nightmares thing is going to go?**


	6. Chapter 6

"What the _fuck_." his voice, barely above a whisper.

Buffy contemplated what Spike's face looked like in the glow of the TV. Judging by his response, she felt incredibly embarrassed and couldn't imagine what he must be thinking. She couldn't bring herself to look at him. What emotion would those blue eyes hold? Pity, comfort, or concern? She distracted her thoughts by pulling her sweater sleeve up to her nose and wiping it before she made a move to get up from his arms. She needed to put distance between the two of them. Spike smelled incredibly good, and she found herself wanting to capture as much of his essence as possible in this position. Her fingers twitched to touch his face, hair, shoulders, and lips. These feelings sent off alarm bells in Buffy's head. Spike, unknowingly, just walked in on Buffy having her reoccuring nightmare of her parents. Now was not the time to express how she was feeling about the bleached blonde. She moved her feelings and body to the other end of the loveseat.

Spike felt burned by how quickly Buffy moved to get away from him. He rubbed his hands on his black jeans and said cautiously, "Love, you know I told you that I wasn't going to bother you with questions. But that was some nightmare."

"Yep, it was." She sniffed. She tilted her head using her hand as a headrest and gazed at him.

"Has that happened before?" He asked turning his body towards Buffy. He couldn't help it. The desire to make her feel safe, to use touch to express that, was much stronger than any other feeling he had at this moment. Fantasies of ways he could comfort her filled his head. He had to push that aside and focus on getting her to talk about what he had just witnessed. As he repositioned, his knee touched hers, and when she didn't turn away from him, his lips turned up into a small smile.

"Yes, unfortunately." Buffy regarded their knees as well. How was it possible that merely touching his knee stirred butterflies? _Seriously, Buff, get a grip!_

Spike sighed looking at the TV for a moment before asking, "I'm going to make a cuppa. Would you like one?"

"I would love one, yes," Buffy responded a little bit relieved at the change of topic.

Spike got up from the couch and strode into the kitchen. He flipped the light on above the stove so he could pull out the cups, tea bags, milk, and sugar from their respective places. He turned the knob eliciting the familiar pop and hiss of a gas stove, filled the tea kettle with water, and slid it into place.

Buffy had followed Spike into the kitchen and was now sitting on one of the kitchen stools next to the stove.

Spike turned around and remained close to the oven. He watched Buffy for a moment and finally said, "What has Giles told you about me?"

Buffy pulled her sweater tight around her body and responded, "Not very much. As you can imagine, we didn't talk a lot about living here when he came to pick me up and bring me back. We were both in our thoughts."

Spike nodded, "But you do know that I was adopted."

"Yes, actually, my parents told me you were adopted."

"So, I used to live in London with my mum. My dad has never been in the picture, so my mum raised me until I was nine years old. Rupert, as you know, used to live in England and he worked for my mum's father. When I was about eight, my mum started showing signs that…" Spike struggled to find the right words, "she wasn't all there. She was supposed to be on medication for her mental health, but she wasn't taking her medicine. My grandfather genuinely thought if we came to live with him everything would change. That mum's health would improve. But as I've mentioned, she wasn't in her right mind at this point, and even though my grandfather did everything he could eventually he checked her into a mental health facility. During the time that this was happening, Giles' wife passed away suddenly. He told my grandfather he intended on leaving the company and moving himself and Dawn to the United States. My grandfather asked him if he would take me with him. I guess he didn't see anything in me living with him until I turned eighteen. He paid Rupert to cover all of my expenses for myself while I lived here."

"So, initially, excuse me," Spike turned hearing the kettle start to whistle, "how do you like your tea, Buffy?"

"However is fine with me."

He poured milk, sugar, and placed a tea bag in each cup. He gently poured water into both cups stirring it with the same spoon. He blew on the mixture before putting it in front of Buffy. She wrapped her fingers around it and brought to her lips. Spike took the other mug and carefully took a sip. For a few seconds, they sipped tea just watching each other.

Spike finally set his cup down and said, "So, initially, Giles told me that I would stay here until I was eighteen. But then my grandfather died when I was in high school, and my mum passed away during middle school. Giles, long before high school, was a surrogate father for me, and he adopted me since I didn't have a legal guardian, and I was underage. Similar to the situation that you are in now."

Spike smiled sheepishly, "So, the point of this rather lengthy story, is that when I first moved here, I had dreams about my mum every night. In my dreams, I would save her. I saved her hundreds of times. Hundreds of different ways. I think it was my brain trying to find a way to cope with what happened to her. I thought if I could prevent it or beat fate I could have her back. The woman I remember, not the shell of what I had in the end. I know the dreams I had are different from yours. But, truthfully, and I don't want to sound ridiculous suggesting it, but I had to have professional help to work through it at that time. I went to a therapist for years. You can't do it yourself, which is why I keep asking you if you want to talk about what happened, because it does help. And I might understand. Maybe not everything, but some of what you're going through."

"I don't think you sound ridiculous at all." Buffy admitted, "I'm sorry about your mom and grandfather. I didn't know about that."

"It's alright, love." Spike picked his tea back up and took a sip. After a beat, he asked softly, "Would you tell me, Buffy? What happened in that nightmare?" Spike regarded her quietly with his head tilted to the side.

"The nightmare that you saw me having is…when the accident happened. We were in a car; we went off a guardrail. I don't have it every night, but…." Buffy sniffed glancing over at the kitchen sink trying to look anywhere but at the bleached blond in front of her. Her vison started to blur from thick tears in her eyes. She quickly wiped them away and cleared her throat.

Spike crossed the small space between them in seconds. At first, he didn't know how exactly to reach for her. How to comfort her. Finally, he resigned to resting his head against the side of hers. His lips close to her ear and his hand reached her back and slowly rubbed circles into it. He whispered sweet ministrations into her ear.

Several minutes passed with them like this. The only sound heard, other than the TV in the living room, was Spike whispering into her ear _sweetheart, Buffy, love, pet, it's going to be okay, breathe_.

Finally, Buffy said hoarsely, "I don't want people to feel pity for me. My parents and I had so many wonderful times together, and I don't want to let what happened to them ruin those memories. It is hard every day. To remember the good times, but I try to at least once a day."

"I don't pity you. I think you're incredibly strong, love." Spike answered with conviction.

Buffy sat at the island for a few minutes. Finishing her tea, taking deep breaths, and trying to focus on Spike's hand rubbing her back. She wanted to grab his hand, put his skin to her lips, and express the gratitude she felt for him being so patient with her and everything that had happened to her. Perhaps some other time she could repay him for his kindness.

"Will you help me get to bed?" She asked getting up from the counter taking her cup and grabbing Spike's as well. She washed the cups out with water and set them in the kitchen sink.

Spike stood in the glow of the oven light watching as the petite blonde did this. He followed Buffy as she walked into the living room and shut the TV off. He took the spiral staircase slowly with her up to her bedroom. Buffy closed the door and fumbled in the dark for the lamp at her desk. She flipped it on and managed to make it to bed, and Spike turned the covers down. He pulled them back over her and tucked the blankets in tight. His hands cupped her head placing a kiss on her forehead. He got up to turn the lamp off at her desk.

"Spike?" her voice barely above a whisper.

"Yes, love?"

"Thank you."

"You're welcome." He quietly let himself out of her bedroom shutting the door. He stood outside just for a moment and pressed his forehead into her door.

 **Note: So now we know Spike's backstory and how he came to live with Rupert and Dawn. We also learned that Dawn was about 3 years old when her mother passed. This explains why Dawn has never about her mother or really shown signs of empathy for what Buffy is going through. This was something I was struggling with in terms of Dawn's character. She simply does not remember her mother and cannot adequately commensurate with her. Finally, and the most important, Buffy opened up to Spike about what she's been dealing with and this is an important step in her healing process. What did you guys think?**


	7. Chapter 7

Buffy walked towards the administrative office at Venice High to stop by Mr. Wood's office during her gym period. As she walked through the office door, she greeted the secretary and made her way towards the middle office clearly labeled as Mr. Wood's. Buffy watched the counselor typing on his computer facing away from the door. She noted from her first visit that there weren't many personal items decorating his office minus two framed photos on the desk. In the corner, was a file cabinet with a potted succulent and diffuser which puffed out a calming eucalyptus scent. The single wall that didn't have sound-proof boarding, displayed his certifications in therapy and school psychology. Buffy reached out her hand and knocked gently on the door.

The counselor spun away from his computer and greeted her with a smile, "Ms. Summers? I'm surprised to find you here."

Buffy walked fully into the room and motioned to the door requesting to shut it. Mr. Wood nodded, and she compiled and sat down in the ivory barrel chair adjacent to his desk.

She cleared her throat, "Mr. Wood, I wanted to apologize for the way I acted last time. I know you were trying to do your job and be helpful."

Mr. Wood assessed Buffy for a moment and responded, "It's fine. You're not the first student to express their doubts about the methods of therapy. And, you won't be the last."

Buffy fiddled with the fabric on the chair and after a minute finally looked up, "Mr. Wood, how many students have you counseled about grief? Here at Venice, I mean."

"Far too many, Buffy. It is a sad consequence of living," he responded gravely.

"Funny. Those consequences of living," Buffy released a breath and confessed, "My parents and I were in an accident. I survived."

Mr. Wood eyed the blonde for a moment and said after a beat, "I suspected from our first meeting that something happened to them, but I want you to talk about it when you feel comfortable and not before then. I'm not going to pressure you. We can talk about other things, how you're adjusting to life in Los Angeles or your classes."

"I understand," Buffy replied softly.

"I will say, losing your parents is particularly difficult. Not to find positives in the situation, but you are probably progressing emotionally and mentally much faster than your classmates right now because of what you've experienced over the last several months. Some people don't have to come to terms with the loss of a parent until they're much older. From what I can see with your current grades and talking to your teachers you seem to be handling grief normally. Everybody processes grief differently, and regardless of how you're doing, I would take as much time as you need to come to terms with what's happened to you. Maybe in time, you'll want to talk about it, but everybody must reach acceptance of the person or thing they lost on their own time. I can't get you there alone; you must reach that point when you're ready."

"Geez. You sound like one of those pamphlets they hand out at the hospital."

The counselor raised his eyebrows, "Okay, well, what do you wish people would say to those who have experienced loss?"

"I don't know. There's honestly nothing you can say that is going to make it better. When I was in the hospital after, I swear they gave me a pamphlet that said almost exactly what you just said. I hated being in that hospital. The smell was awful, and you can always tell when someone has died. If a nurse pulls the curtains back, a patient is either dressing or a family is trying to grieve in private over the loss of a loved one. There's no real privacy. At all. All you hear all day is machines, beeping, talking nurses, and then you go home, and suddenly you're left alone to deal with the fact that your life has completely turned upside down."

"That's fair. But I would argue that's why there are therapists. Therapy helps talk you through some of those thoughts you have when you're trying to regain some normalcy. When you're alone. You learn different techniques to deal with what's going on in your head. Consider me a soundboard that you can express those thoughts to, and we can tackle them together. It can be useful to regain a somewhat normal life back." Mr. Wood responded.

Mr. Wood continued, "On another note, just so you can understand that I'm not just talking about grief in theory, when I was nine years old, I lost my mother. She went out late one night after work and left me with the babysitter. The cops believed that she was robbed at gun point waiting for the bus stop. The next time I saw her was her funeral."

Buffy hummed sullenly and asked, "Is there something you miss the most about her?"

"I remember when I was little. I would hug my mom when she would come home for work. Her leather jacket always smelled like her the most. I loved the smell of that leather jacket."

"My mom and I used to go antique shopping together. She ran a local museum and was a personal collector on the side. I loved going to shops with her. She wanted to own her own store someday. My dad was more of the strong-silent type. He used to work on my car and fix things without telling me. I'd just come home on Saturdays sometimes from cheerleading practice or hanging out with friends, and I would have new tires, or he would change the oil. That was his love language." Buffy softly admitted.

"You know, Buffy. Just because someone dies, doesn't mean you have to stop doing those activities that you used to do with your mom or dad. Grief isn't just about emotions. When you lose a person, you feel like you lose the things you enjoyed doing with that person. That's not true, and sometimes doing the things you used to do with a loved one can be therapeutic. It also helps to remind you of the good times you spent with them. You spend more time focusing on those than bad thoughts."

Buffy nodded, "I'll keep that in mind."

"Not to change the subject, but have you thought more about our discussion about colleges? I still believe that you should pursue other opportunities outside of community college. I know you feel robbed of experiencing the joy of going to college and having your parents support you, but I still believe your parents would want you to pursue all the avenues of your next step once you graduate," Mr. Wood asserted.

"I've thought about it briefly. Applying elsewhere, I mean." Buffy responded.

Mr. Wood rolled his chair over to his computer and started typing. He was quiet for several minutes reading what appeared to be electronic high school transcripts.

"What are you doing?" Buffy asked.

"I'm looking at your PSAT score and calculating what that would be on the SAT. The ratings changed over the last few years, but you can still get a gauge of what needs to be the main focal point when you take it." Mr. Wood replied typing on his computer.

"Buffy, you did quite well on the PSAT," Mr. Wood informed her.

Buffy smiled at the fact that he didn't sound surprised, "Yes, otherwise I wouldn't have been considered for the athletic scholarship at the University of Tennessee. I was due to take the SAT before I moved here, but that fell through. I had to cancel, so I need to schedule to take it."

Mr. Wood nodded still clicking through screens on his computer. He exited out and wheeled back over to his desk to face his student again.

"Let's make that a goal. To register to take the SAT by next session. The earlier you take it, the better. If you took it soon, you might still have time to take it a second time."

Buffy nodded.

Mr. Wood picked up the pen on his desk and started writing Buffy an excuse for her gym teacher. "I'm going to go ahead and write an excuse for you for the reminder of the semester for gym class every week on this day. Does that sound okay?"

"Yes, thank you," Buffy replied. Picking up her backpack and taking the excuse from Mr. Wood when he was finished. She smiled at the counselor and confirmed, "I'll see you next week then."

"And Ms. Summers?" Mr. Wood prompted.

"Yes?"

"Thank you for telling me about your parents."

Buffy nodded and replied, "Thank you for being patient with me."

On Saturday morning, Buffy sipped coffee while staring at the online application process for three colleges in California. She had to do some digging to find submission deadlines (especially for financial aid), and the average SAT and ACT admittance scores for the freshman class the prior year. On average, an accepted freshman must make at least a 1200 on the SAT or a 32 on the ACT. These scores seemed like nothing on a website, but Buffy knew she would be facing an uphill battle with her English score at the very least and that was being _extremely_ generous.

Sure, when her parents first learned she might receive a scholarship for college they'd hired a SAT prep tutor, but that had been almost a year ago. But she had lost focus and was out of the mindset of "prepping" for a standardized exam. She made a mental note to go out and purchase study materials later to start pouring through. According to most of the websites, she needed to apply by December to submit her application a little early for most of the scholarships and financial aid.

Buffy went ahead and made accounts for all the websites to click through the application process. All the colleges required an entrance essay, and some included an additional personal piece. She flicked her green eyes to her calendar on the cork board and tried not to have a panic attack at the thought of having to write several essays, get through the fall semester, and apply to all her choices for college by Christmas. To say full "Buffy panic mode" would hit to make these deadlines was an understatement.

"Buffy?"

She whipped around to find her Godfather, Rupert, standing in the doorway of her room. She smiled as he walked into her room. It was evident by the three-piece suit he was holding in a dry-cleaning garment bag that he was about to leave for another business trip.

"Are you getting ready to head out to San Diego again?"

Giles hung the suit on the door of her bedroom and walked over towards Buffy's bed. He picked up Mr. Gordo, her stuffed pig she'd had since as long as she could remember, and replied, "Yes, but I wanted to pop in before I did. I hate that we haven't had a chance to talk lately. Work has been incredibly busy. I've been meaning for us to get lunch or do something together. Just the two of us."

"It's okay, I understand. It must be busy with the holidays coming up."

Giles looked over Buffy's shoulder and saw her surfing university websites, "I see you're looking at… _university_?" He was surprised and quickly stood up walking over to her computer to see where she was researching.

"Just looking, it's nothing," Buffy said causally.

"This one is good. I know a few people who've attended here. I've hired them. Excellent programs for business. I'm not sure what your major you're interested in."

"Honestly right now, I'm just stressing about how quickly the turn around on these applications would be. This university requests two essays. And one is an interpretative essay. I'm kind of nervous about all of this. If I even applied here, that is. I hope it's okay, that I'm not just looking at a local community college. Mr. Wood, the counselor at school, seems to think I'd be selling myself short if I apply to a local college." Buffy explained with a sheepishly look.

She continued, "Giles, I promise. If I get accepted to one of these schools, I will get a job. I'll even get one now if you think that would be best so I can help pay for these application fees. I want to try at least."

Giles smiled, his eyes crinkled as he softly replied, "Buffy, I want you to apply where ever you would like to go. I only agreed with the local community college idea because I thought maybe you needed to take some time. But Mr. Wood is right, I think that you would be selling yourself short. Your parents kept me abreast of how you were doing in school and you've taken on extra responsibility with these AP courses you are enrolled in. I don't think it's completely unreasonable to seek out other opportunities. Just my opinion, I would apply to several, including the community college as a backup. You could transfer later," Giles kissed the top of Buffy's head, "I hope that you know that your parents would be proud."

Buffy opened and closed her mouth. She gave Giles a watery smile, "I miss them so much. I hate that they're not here to experience this with me. They were looking forward to all of this."

Giles reached out and touched the blonde's face. Caressing her cheek, he replied, "It depends on what you believe. I would like to believe that the ones we lose remain in our hearts and experience our pain and joy the same as we do."

Giles continued, "I remember the first time I held you in my arms. You just stared at me, assessing me, deciding just what you thought about me. You reached up with your little hand and gripped my finger so tight. Your sweet little face broke into this big grin. You had my heart then, and that was before I knew your parents were going to ask me to be your Godfather. Buffy, I'm very proud of you for handling school with a lot of responsibility after what you've been through and seeking out counseling at school."

Buffy reached out and hugged Giles' midsection, "It hasn't been so bad moving here and living with you guys. Giles, thank you for being there for my parents and me now."

Giles bent down wrapping his arms around Buffy's frame. Once she let go, he moved to sit back down on the bed, "Buffy, I wanted to ask you something. If you don't feel comfortable answering, it's fine, but I couldn't help but notice you and Spike seemed to get along well, especially during dinner the other night. There was something…I couldn't quite put my finger on. I've noticed that your mood has dramatically improved over the last few weeks. I can't help but wonder if Spike has anything to do with it?"

Buffy shifted, "I'm not sure. I'm honestly still trying to figure out all of that myself. He's a good listener, and he told me about his mom last night. My parents never told me much about him. I didn't know he had experienced so much compared to someone else of his same age."

Giles raised his eyebrows, "Yes, he has definitely. Where I would find someone to be hardened by his experiences, I find that he's embraced his caring nature. Under any other circumstances, I wouldn't approve of the age difference between you two, but I've spent some time considering that both of you are on a similar journey. My rationale will sound a bit foolish, but I do believe that fate can bring two people together on the same path either because one is meant to help the other or because they are meant to help each other. I don't have an opinion on what you and Spike decide to do, that's not any of my business. I only ask that you and he are careful with each other. Do not hurt each other and consider that we do live in the same house. Don't act on a whim about him, he is my son after all, but don't over think it either. If he is any part of the reason that you are improving over the last several weeks, I wouldn't think on it too long. Sometimes your heart already knows the answer long before your mind catches up."

Buffy's face was flushed but conceded with a nod.

Giles got up placing Mr. Gordo on her pillow and walked over to her door picking his suit back up, "Please call me if you need anything, especially with those applications. I'll be back next week. Love you, Buffy."

"Kay, love you, too."

Buffy stared at the door frame as Giles walked out. After a minute, her eyes roamed over to her window watching the pool house and then to her tennis shoes sitting on the bedroom floor. The weather was nice enough outside; she considered going for a run to turn over the conversation she'd just had with Giles.

 _I wouldn't think on it too long._ She turned over this statement as she laced up her shoes and made her way to the spiral staircase onto the first floor of the house.

 **Apologies for taking so long to post. I've had a couple of scenes written since before Christmas and I've been editing them, re-writing sections, and changing things that I felt were more the correct direction that I wanted to take this. On a side note, I've been listening to Spike and Buffy playlists on Spotify. Surprisingly, there are quite a few. What songs remind you of Buffy and Spike's relationship? When** _ **Songs about Jane,**_ **the first official album by Maroon 5 was first out, I saw a lot of people posting in the fanfiction community about how that album rang true of their relationship on the show. I always agreed.**


	8. Chapter 8

"Is this coffee maker as old as you or me, or what?" Buffy teased pouring herself a cup from the stained-glass coffee pitcher after the machine finished beeping.

Spike peered from behind a book he was reading in the arm chair of the tiny pool house living room, "Mm. Oh, yeah, sorry love, I don't drink much of the stuff."

Buffy opened the small fridge next to the kitchen pulling out milk. She added a small amount and spooned sugar into the steaming liquid. Carefully, the mug of coffee was placed on the kitchen table. She slid into the wooden chair pulling one of her legs into her chest and pulling the sleeves of her sweater down more comfortably across her hands.

Once again, she was camping out at the pool house for another night of working on school assignments and college applications avoiding another one of Dawn's social extravaganzas. Before leaving the main house, she'd grabbed two plates of food for herself and Spike noting to Dawn that it was payment for being pushed out of the house when application deadlines and midterms were fast approaching.

Spike watched the blonde as she sat at the kitchen table tapping the home button on her computer to rise it from sleep mode. When she'd shown up at his door with two plates of food wearing a large fluffy sweater paired with black leggings - which captured her curves perfectly - he'd thanked the heavens. Over the past few weeks, Spike had noticed that he spent an awful lot of time watching Buffy doing normal activities and thinking about her when she wasn't here. He liked watching Buffy sitting in his small pool house working on college applications. Spike noticed that it made her happier. _Maybe_ , he thought, _all she needed was a push from those who love her_. Her overall demeanor had changed slowly, and the contrast was a relief to all.

As he gazed unnoticed, a strand of her long blonde hair fell into her face. As she reached up to tuck it behind her ear, his fingers itched to reach out and tuck that strand himself. If he did, he would lean forward and kiss the skin just below her ear and pull down her sweater sleeve to kiss her wrist. A need so strong ignited in his gut just thinking about his lips touching her skin. These feelings for Buffy used to surprise him, but slowly over the last several weeks, he'd grown accustomed to the fleeting fantasies of a romance between the two of them. At first, he resisted them because of their age difference, but Giles had sprung the topic up suddenly while they were out at a bar enjoying a night out. Giles offered him some advice that made Spike think and had ultimately changed the tide towards him making his feelings for Buffy known at some point. The problem he faced now was fear and concern for Buffy's experience, her innocence, when it came to men. _I don't even know if she's ever had a serious boyfriend,_ he thought _._

He rubbed his mouth with his free hand and asked, "Buffy, do you mind if I ask you something personal?"

Buffy looked up from her laptop and studied Spike's face for a minute. He almost never asked permission before asking random questions about her life in Tennessee. What could be so personal that he had to ask permission first?

"Sure…should I be worried?" She teased quietly.

He shook his head gently, "I was just curious to know if you had special someone back in Tennessee. A boyfriend, perhaps?"

Buffy let a long breath, "Oh, um. I did yes. Back at my old high school, I dated someone for three years. We broke up before I came here."

Spike hummed tracing the arm of the couch with his fingers; his nails still adorned with black nail polish, "So, you guys broke up recently then?"

"Yes, but it sounds more serious than it was," Buffy added.

Spike tilted his head studying the blonde for a moment, "You dated for three years. How is that not serious?"

Buffy stood up closing her laptop unable to think of her work while discussing the current topic. She walked across the pool house and sat down on the couch across from the arm chair Spike was currently occupying. She pulled her legs up and snuggled into the side of the sofa and replied, "We just didn't see eye-to-eye on a lot of things," Buffy cleared her throat, "He was the quarterback of the football team, and…he received a lot of attention from other girls at school. It was hard for me to deal with that. There was a lot of jealousy and many fights. It was not the best relationship."

Spike felt a sense of sorrow for the small blonde perched in front of him, "Sounds like it wasn't the best, love."

Buffy sniffed, "Yeah, it wasn't. From the beginning, I felt a lot of pressure to give into to some of the more physical aspects of the relationship because everybody else was doing it. I was always insecure, worried that he might seek someone else out when we weren't together because I wasn't."

Spike's thoughts pivoted to a small detail he had suspected for a while, "So, you've never been with a guy before?"

Buffy blushed and looked away from his penetrative gaze, "Yes. I've never..." Buffy suddenly found the fabric of her sweater interesting and mumbled, "I just thought you should give that to someone who makes you feel safe. I never felt like my heart was safe with him."

Spike's gut squeezed at her confession. "Dru and I dated for about two years. I was smitten. Love hard, work hard, play hard, as they say. I think we went from kissing to sex in seconds. We couldn't keep our hands off of each other. It was intense."

Buffy looked up and tried to ice the disappointment in her voice, "Yeah? What happened?"

"She left and went to college." Spike sniffed.

"Sounds like that was difficult for you. To be left like that, I mean."

"Yeah, it was pretty rough, and I'm not going to lie, it made me incredibly jaded about love. I fell deeply for her. I guess she thought she could do better with some bloke she met at college. I don't regret the relationship, just the way it ended," Spike cleared his throat, "I've spent more time than I'm willing to admit engaging in meaningless romps since then. I enjoy the company of women, but I haven't had an actual relationship since Dru."

Buffy swallowed loudly, sliding her gaze over to look at the door to the pool house. Hearing his confession to potentially four years of meaningless sex made her feel like her insides were gutted and laying out on the floor. She pictured herself fading through the crack in the door back to the outside where it might be safer for her. Not only was he more experienced than her, but just how much more experienced weighed on her heavily. Buffy would be lying if she hadn't considered that he might have already had more serious relationships given his age, but she didn't picture what the bleach blonde was telling her now. By the sound of it, she worried there were some commitment issues left unresolved from his ex. Where Buffy's relationship just ended without circumstance, Spike went on a string of _meaningless romps,_ as he'd _poetically_ put it, as an attempt to move on from his ex.

Sure, it was true, towards the end of her relationship with Angel she did push him away, and maybe he had given up considering it was better for her to be left alone. But what Spike was saying was an entirely different way of dealing with loss. For all of his talk of dealing with grief, where was his attempt to deal with his relationship with Dru in a healthier way? Worse was the genuinely fearful question in her gut. What was she exactly to him? She thought she knew what he would and wouldn't do, but the fear of it grabbed her. The very thought that she was _nothing_ but another girl in a long string of women he used to get over Dru was enough to propel her off the couch.

"Buffy?" Spike prompted.

"Yeah?" She responded distantly walking back over to the kitchen table.

"Are you okay?" He asked an edge of concern to his voice.

She slipped her laptop and her notebook into her bookbag. She shouldered it and turned to face Spike who was still sitting with an unreadable expression on his face, "You know, I'm incredibly stupid. I completely forgot that I was supposed to meet Will, my friend from school, for SAT prep tonight. I told her I would be working on college applications and she offered to help. I'm going to go over to her house, apologize, and see if it's not too late to get started on that tonight. Sorry, Spike, will you tell Dawn tomorrow?"

Spike blinked, "Yeah, of course, love."

Buffy made her way over to the door and opened it stepping out into the lawn in the dark. Spike hadn't turned on the porch light for her earlier because daylight savings time had shifted the time it was getting darker outside. Before she could walk away, a hand reached from inside the pool house and circled her wrist halting her movements.

"Buffy?" His voice like a phantom in the dark.

Buffy turned her attention back to Spike and the light inside the pool house. He leaned against the door frame, his eyes a steel blue now. He looked down at his fingers touching her, and his thumb started tracing circles around her wrist, "Are you sure you're okay? Please tell me if there's something I said."

Buffy pulled her hand away from his touch, "Stop."

"Stop what?" Spike asked confused advancing from the door frame and stepping into the night, "Buffy why are you leaving like this?"

Buffy took a step back, "If you're trying to pretend you care, please stop."

"Buffy, what are you talking about?" He tilted his head and searched her face, "What's wrong?"

"Am I, as you so eloquently put it, a _meaningless romp_?" She demanded.

" _What the bloody hell_? Are you a…oh, for fuck's sake, _really_?" Spike exclaimed.

"You heard me." Buffy challenged.

Spike scoffed, eying her with disbelief, his breath coming in short pants. Finally, after a moment, he replied shortly, "Go on to Will's, Buffy. This conversation isn't happening right now."

"Don't order me around like I'm a petulant child, Spike."

"No, Buffy, you're not a petulant child. Right now, you're acting like a bloody chit, and I don't want to have this conversation. _With you_. _Tonight_." He shut the door leaving her in the dark.

Her face crumpled in the dark and she cursed. She hurried away from the door before someone saw her standing outside the pool house seconds from crying. She pulled out her phone from her bag, took a few deep breaths, and dialed Willow's number.

 **I've been listening to The Weekend "My Dear Melancholy" on repeat this past week, and I have no idea why. Let me know what you think about this chapter. I know it's a tough one, but it can't always be rainbows and sunshine. Buffy has her issues she's dealing with her parents and Spike has Dru. Once this final scene flowed out it just made sense to me. Two imperfect people who happen to like each other.**


	9. Chapter 9

Buffy spent the next few weeks after school at her friend Willow Rosenburg's house preparing to take the SATs during Venice's scheduled Fall Break. Buffy discovered that this wasn't Willow's first time taking the exam. The first time was her junior year to see what the atmosphere was like in preparation for her senior year. Willow explained that this would be her final time taking it to improve her score in certain areas for her college applications. Knowing this was Buffy's first time taking the exam, she offered a lot of advice and encouragement. She pushed her to load her PSATs on a college board approved website to mull through all of her problem areas.

Just as they had spent the last several nights, Buffy and Willow found themselves studying after school the Thursday leading up to Fall Break. Buffy took up her usual position on Willow's bed clicking through modules. Tonight, she was reviewing English grammar to refresh her memory on testable material. She released a loud sigh and looked down at the bottom right corner of her laptop. She calculated in her head how long she and Will had been studying.

"Will, why must I review every grammar rule that has ever existed for this test? I'm exhausted," She pouted at her redheaded friend.

Willow sat at her desk with her hair pulled back wearing a comfy sweater, overalls, and red converse.

The redhead looked away from her computer with a sympathetic smile, "I know, Buff. But based on your PSATs, and the practice exam we took, grammar is a subject you need to reconnect some of the concepts you've learned from school. You said yourself you wanted help studying and that's what I'm doing."

"I'm going to be reconnecting my brain cells if we keep this up. We've been at it for hours," Buffy replied bluntly.

"Okay, let's take a little break. What if we ordered pizza and watched some Mystery Science Theater 3000?"

"As long as it doesn't involve a past participle, I'm good with anything."

Willow shook her head, "Too bad we can't swap places during the exam. You could take the math portion of my test, and I can awe the college board with your knowledge of words and phrases like being a stalwart, flummery, and pulchritude." Willow teased her friend while minimizing the windows on her computer.

"Ugh, speaking of English, I still have to finish that essay due after the break. I don't see how teachers expect us to study for this test and complete school assignments on time."  
"I don't foresee a student revolt changing our Lit teacher's mind?" Willow sighed.

"No, I swear, to teach AP classes to teenagers you have to be an expert in dealing with bullshit," Buffy responded.

"That is the truth," Willow agreed. She walked over to her nightstand plucking her phone from the charger and taping on it with her thumb. "What kind of pizza should we order?"

Buffy gave this a moment of consideration and offered Willow a wide grin, "Definitely pepperoni. Extra cheese?"

"Okay," Willow resumed taping on her phone, "I'm going to run downstairs and grab my wallet so I can order this. Be back in a minute." Willow left the room hitting the stairs to the first floor.

Buffy turned back to the notes she made while studying. She started to draw circles on to the adjacent page, and her thoughts drifted to Spike, again. Geez, Buff, boy crazy much? She scolded herself.

She replayed their argument over and over again. Considering different outcomes and trying to guess what the right words would have been to prevent the way they'd spoken to each other. She couldn't lie, she'd been spending a lot of time over at Willow's to avoid him. She only came home after it was late and she could crawl into bed without confrontation.

One thing she was thankful for, the lack of nightmares that had plagued her sleep since she'd moved to Los Angeles. She knew that seeing Mr. Wood every week during her gym period was contributing to her improvement. Studying and focusing on college applications had also kept her brain busy in a positive way. She was relieved to be free of her nightmares, permanently she hoped.

But where one issue seemed resolved, another wasn't. Occasionally, when Buffy made it home at night, she would glance out her window at the pool house in the backyard. Anytime light illuminated from the front windows she felt a heaviness, an emptiness, where only his company had occupied. At first, she wrote it off as just trying to fill a void because she was alone. But over time, she knew better. There is a difference between being lonely and being alone. She missed spending time with him, the encouragement he gave her, and their playful banter back and forth. She went through several drafts of what she could say to him in her head, but she couldn't come up with the right words to get them back to the spot before their fight. If she went to him now, she would have to explain her feelings, and it would make things different between the two of them.

She was furious with herself for reacting the way that she had, despite how she felt about Spike's confession and his activities in an attempt to get over his ex, Giles had warned her about lashing out in anger because of the dynamics of the household. Look what she'd done? Their conversation about past relationships was the first personal conversation they encountered together, and she had done what Giles warned her not to do. So much for not hurting each other, she thought bitterly. In her defense, the experience of hearing him recount his experience with other women wasn't pleasant. And Spike did order her to leave and go to Willow's. But the more she thought about what happened, the more she thought her reaction could have been more mature. What if she had stayed and tried to explain the way she felt? What if he'd reacted differently?

She continued to mediate on his words as she drew circles into the pages of her notebook. The best conclusion she could come to was giving him space. That's what she was doing at Willow's, other than enjoying her close friend's company. Besides, it appeared to Buffy that Spike still had some issues to work through regarding his ex, Dru, and she didn't want to get involved.

Willow walked back into the bedroom and chirped waggling her eyebrows, "The pizza is ordered. Let's turn on some Mystery Science Theater, shall we?"

Buffy gave her a small smile and thanked the powers that be for blessings like friends to distract you from turning thoughts over and over again. She couldn't change the past, so she might as well focus on spending time with her best friend.

Later that evening, Buffy walked through the door of the Giles' home with Willow. She walked through the front door with a small pain in her chest knowing that tomorrow would be Friday and she faced an entire Fall Break in this house. Alone. With Spike. Until next Saturday when Willow would come and pick her up for their SATs. Willow promised her girlfriend, Tara, some quality couple time this week since all of her attention had been on preparing for the SATs and studying with Buffy the past few weeks. Dawn informed Buffy earlier in the week that her friends were all going up to Big Bear for a couple of days for the break. Even though she knew Giles would be in and out, that did not calm her nerves about the break.

As Buffy pondered on the upcoming week, she closed the front door and made her way towards the kitchen with Willow. She heard the whirl of a machine followed by a metal tapping sound coming from the room. She found Dawn with baking supplies and ingredients spread out across the counterspace. The warm smell of baked goods hung in the air. Buffy closed her eyes for a moment savoring the scent of sugar, flour, and vanilla. Dawn was at the island in the middle of the room with a Kitchen Aid Mixer supervising the machine as it spun combining ingredients in a large silver bowl. The brunette looked up, and a bright smile crossed her face when she saw the two girls standing there.

"Hey guys, you're just in time. I need you to taste one of these gluten free muffin recipes I've been baking. We have a bake sale coming up at Venice, and I need someone other than myself to tell me if these are worthy or not," Dawn walked over and handed both girls a muffin cushioned in a tin foil wrapper, "They're vanilla, almond, and lavender."

"You put lavender in this?" Buffy asked peeling the foil wrapper and inhaling the heavenly scent of the pastry.

Dawn nodded enthusiastically watching as the blonde took a bite into her creation.

"Don't have to ask me twice to try freshly baked goodness," Willow remarked.

"Willow, you might want to try it first before you compliment my cooking skills," Dawn instructed.

Buffy nodded at Dawn with a smile as she continued to chew the pastry. She was surprised to find the combination of lavender, almond, and vanilla mixed very well. Who would have thought to put lavender in baked goods? She turned to Willow who was tasting it with a thoughtful expression on her face.

"See, freshly baked goodness," Willow chirped.

"It's great, Dawn. I'm sure they're going to appreciate it at school," Buffy walked over to one of the cabinets and pulled out a glass cup. She opened the fridge and took out a gallon of milk pouring herself a glass. She took a sip and turned to Willow.

"Will, do you want some?" Buffy asked.

Willow nodded, and Buffy walked over to her handing her the glass.

"So, what were you doing tonight, Buffy?" Dawn asked making her way back to the mixer to bring it to a stop. She plucked a spatula from the counter and dipped it into the mixture. Her tongue darted out to taste the liquid on the spatula. She hummed and started prepping to drop the muffin mix into a tin to bake.

"SAT practice. Willow and I are going through questions and working on applications. We did take a break to watch Mystery Science Theater for a bit. Ordered pizza. It helps to have her company, I know I couldn't focus without her," Buffy commented bumping Willow's arm playfully.

"What is Mystery Science Theater?" Dawn asked.

"Uhhhh. It's a super nerdy show. This guy reviews B rated science fiction films with three robots from space. It's pretty funny," Willow offered.

"Huh. Can't say that I've seen it." Dawn finished dumping the gooey muffin ingredients into the tin. She looked at the two girls with a bright smile, "Spike and I watched Star Trek…again. It's his favorite movie. He bribed me with tea and his specialty, French toast. So, we made breakfast for dinner. I think he's got a meeting with his advisor tonight after class. He should be back later."

Buffy tried not to sound distracted at the mention of Dawn's adopted brother, "Did Giles already head out for the weekend?"

"Yeah, one of his clients flew in from China to sign a deal they've been working on this week. He said he'd try to be back on Sunday," Dawn informed her.

Willow pipped up, "I better get going, Buff. I promised Tara I would call her to work out plans for this weekend."

"Oh, do you guys have plans?" Dawn asked.

"Our families are meeting each other for the first time," Willow confessed.

"That's exciting!" Dawn replied encouragingly.

"Yeah, I'm just glad her family decided to stay here until she's moved off to college. I was worried that they would leave because her dad got that promotion," Willow admitted.

"Me too," Buffy nodded.

"Well, Buff, I'll see you at school tomorrow." Willow grabbed another cupcake from the kitchen island giving Dawn a quick smile.

"Tell Tara we said hi." Buffy smiled.

The redhead nodded and headed out of the house leaving Dawn and Buffy in the kitchen.

After the last batch of cupcakes were in the oven, Dawn began to put dishes and bowls into the sink cleaning off the space she wasn't using anymore. She dumped everything to one side and began to fill the other side of the sink with soap filling the kitchen with the smell of lemons.

Buffy helped Dawn load up the dishwasher after she washed the dishes. After that, they both wiped down the counters.

When they were finished Buffy retrieved her water bottle from the cabinet and filled it with water. She hoped up on one of the bar stools and watched Dawn open the oven checking on the final batch of cupcakes.

"Dawn. Can I ask you a question? If it's too personal, it's okay; you don't have to answer," Buffy asked quietly.

"Sure, Buff, what's up?" Dawn paused momentarily throwing an encouraging smile to the blonde across from her.

"Do you remember anything about your mom?" Buffy asked timidly.

Dawn shook her head, "I was five when she died. Dad has all of these old home videos that I've watched hundreds of times. Just by the videos, I can tell she was so funny and a beautiful person," She paused and added, "What did you like most about your mom? I only met her one time, and I don't remember much about her."

"She was quirky and very caring. I used to get so embarrassed by her when I was growing up because she was more involved in my life than some of my other friends' moms. She'd show up to cheerleading practices, and she went to every game and competition. My dad did too, but my mom encouraged me to pursue cheer in middle school and high school. I miss that; she was my cheerleader." Buffy regarded her water bottle top attempting to distract herself. After a minute she looked up to find Dawn giving her a sincere smile.

"Buffy, I know we don't exactly agree on priorities, and I'm more than aware that I can be annoying. I know that my priories are a little different. But just because we're different doesn't mean I'm not here to listen to anything you want to tell me," Dawn fixed her with a serious gaze, "I know you've been spending a lot of time with Spike. I get that you guys have some common experiences, but I have to admit I've been jealous."  
Buffy wrinkled her nose, "Jealous of what?"

"Well, I kind of thought that when you moved here, we'd be like sisters and do girly activities together. I know you're not that type of girl, but…I don't know. You have been through a lot, and I respect that. I guess I just had some unrealistic expectations about what things were going to be like when you moved in."

"Dawn, I'm sorry you feel that way. I wouldn't mind us hanging out together. I mean you know parties aren't my thing, but I'm sure we can settle on something," Buffy offered.

"I would love that. But, I'm glad it's turned out the way it has. Spike has a tough time opening up to people that aren't my dad and I. You've made my dad so happy seeing how well you two get along."

Buffy nodded unable to formulate how to respond. Suddenly she found the counter much more interesting than the brunette standing across from her.

"Are you okay?" Dawn prompted.

The blonde's head snapped up from the kitchen counter. She cleared her throat, "Yeah, I'm fine."

Dawn assessed her with skeptical eyes, "Are you sure? You got this weird expression on your face when I brought up Spike."

Buffy looked down at her hands in concentration. In her mind, she went through several edited versions of what she wanted to tell Dawn. Finally, she just settled on telling her the truth.

"Spike and I had an argument the other night," Buffy offered pulling the cuffs of her sweater around her fingers, "Did you ever meet Dru, his ex?"

Dawn raised her eyebrows in surprise, "Yeah, she used to come over all the time while they were dating. Why, did he bring her up? He hasn't talked about her since they broke up."

"Um," Buffy let out a breath, "He didn't bring it up per se. He asked me about my past relationship before I moved here. Then he mentioned her. It sounded like it was a bad break up. He talked about how he hasn't been in a committed relationship since they broke up. He made it sound like, I don't know, like he spends a lot of time with women and has no interest in anything serious. I just got mad, said some words I probably shouldn't have, and I left."

"Oh, no Buffy, why did you do that? You shouldn't have left," Dawn replied saddened.

"I don't know! It was just too heavy for me. My thoughts immediately jumped to the worst-case scenario. It honestly sounds like he's got a lot to work through when it comes to her. I don't want to be in the middle of that."

"Do you feel in the middle of it? Is something going on between you two? I'm sorry Buffy, I haven't noticed, but I'm not the most observant person," Dawn confessed.

"Just…I don't know. It's fine, though, I haven't been exactly forthcoming about our conversations," Buffy said in a frustrated tone.

"Buffy, I just told you that you could tell me anything. Do you like Spike? I mean like as a boyfriend, not in a sweet adopted brother kind of way?" Dawn asked gently.  
"I'm not sure. I'm still trying to figure it out," Buffy replied honestly.

"Okay….well, there's one thing I do know. I was serious when I told you that Spike never talks about Dru. She broke up with him the night before she left for college. I have tried, many times, to draw out his feelings about what happened between them and he's never wanted to talk about it. Dad was worried when it happened too, and he convinced Spike to take some time. That's why he ended up attending community college instead of going away for college. Even if you mentioned a past boyfriend, even if he asked about a past relationship, I don't think that would be enough for him to offer any real information about her. I've never seen him hurt the way he was when they broke up, except when he found out his grandfather and mother died. I don't know if he's told you about that."

Buffy gave Dawn a small nod and said softly, "We have talked about that."

"His mother?"

Buffy nodded again.

Dawn stared at Buffy as if she was looking at her for the first time, "Does Dad know how you feel?" Dawn asked.

"Giles knows that I'm confused. I don't know how Spike feels. Our argument probably just drove him away," Buffy replied miserably.

Dawn crossed her arms and fixed her with a serious gaze, "No, Buffy, Spike has a keen caring nature. Even if you fight, he'll forgive you. I know he will. Listen, Spike is great at small talk. But, when it comes to real shit, if he's talking about anything related to his past with you, that is a big deal. It means he trusts you and that you're important to him."

Buffy took in this new information, "So…this whole causally being with girls…"

"Probably does have a lot to do with Dru. I'm not going to lie. I've seen girls come and go out of that pool house in the morning." Dawn threw an annoyed glance at the porch.  
"But I'm not…it's not like that with me."

Dawn shook her head firmly, "No. I know Spike, he would never jeopardize what you have here with us. It wouldn't surprise me to find out that he's concealed his feelings for you. And he's a gentleman; he would never treat you less than what you deserve. Buffy, please promise me that you will talk to him?"

"I will."

"I wouldn't judge him until you know the full story with Dru. When I say that Dru spent a lot of time in this house, with us, that's not an understatement. She almost lived with us because her family situation was terrible. If Spike was willing to talk about her the other night, I would get the rest of the story from him. I would tell him how you feel. Just promise me you will try? You have the perfect opportunity while the house is basically to yourselves this week."

Buffy stared at Dawn not attempting to hide her reaction as she processed through what Dawn was telling her. Could it be possible there was more to the story with Dru? Dawn was implying that there was more. If she'd stayed when they had argued, would he have told her about it?

These were the thoughts she contemplated as she showered and got ready for bed. Before she went to sleep, she remembered seeing a light flip on at the pool house.

 **Do not know how this conversation with Buffy and Spike is going to go down. I guess we'll find out next chapter! What did you guys think?**


	10. Chapter 10

Buffy spent the weekend reviewing modules on the website Willow had shown her the previous week in preparation for her SATs. On Sunday evening, she turned her full attention to the essay for English due after the break. This essay was different from many of the others she had to write so far in AP Literature. For this assignment, each student had to pick a poem from an approved list and deconstruct the themes of the piece. Buffy was at a loss as to what poem to choose from the list but finally decided on a poem called _If_ by Rudyard Kipling. She was outlining her essay when there was a knock on her bedroom door. She looked up to find Dawn dressed in UGGs, skinny jeans, and a white Sherpa pullover.

"Hey, I'm about to head over to Cordele's house for the night. We're heading out for Big Bear first thing in the morning. I think Spike ran to the grocery store so he should be back sometime after I leave. Is there anything you need before I head out?"

Buffy shook her head and replied, "I hope that you guys have a great time."

"I'm sure we will. Don't stay in this room working on college applications and school assignments all break, okay?" Dawn cautioned wagging her finger.

Buffy rolled her eyes teasingly, "I won't!"

"Remember what we talked about." Dawn reminded her.

"I know, thanks again, for listening."

Dawn gave her a reassuring smile and waved backing out the room to go downstairs.

Just as Dawn predicted, it wasn't too long after she left that Buffy heard Spike come into the house and start putting up groceries. After several minutes, it finally grew quiet, and she got up from her chair to peer outside in the backyard to see if he was returning to the pool house. His figure wasn't readily available, so her gaze drifted to the canal behind the house.

She heard a creak on the stairs outside of her room, and she started with a surge of panic realizing there was a silhouette standing by the door. When Spike stepped out of the shadows fully into the light of her bedroom, she shot him an alarming glare.

"Jesus. You scared the shit out of me."

Spike's face broke out into an amused expression.

"That wasn't funny," Buffy said hotly.

"Ah, it was a little funny, considering I think you were spying on me, love." Spike pointed a single finger at the window where the blonde was standing.

Buffy scuffed, "Spying on you? Right. That's conceded of you to assume that."

"It's not an assumption, love." Spike countered with a smirk.

"I was admiring the canal behind the house. You okay with that?" Buffy replied indignantly.

Spike shrugged, "If you insist, love."

"Spike, what do you want?"

Spike's face fell, and he replied quickly, "Look, we're going to be in this house alone for the next couple of days. Giles called while I was out. He's not going to be back in until Tuesday. I suggest, and this is just a suggestion from the _house imbecile_ , that we at least try to get along. For a few days anyways. We can call a truce, and you can get back to hating me later."

"Go back to hating you?"

Spike rolled his eyes and crammed his hands in the front pockets of his black jeans.

"I _don't_ hate you."

Spike raised his eyebrows and shrugged it off, saying, "Okay, well, we should at least try to get along. You can't keep avoiding me. There's only the two of us in the house now. We kind of have to talk to each other."

"Not if you don't want to."

Spike took a step further into her bedroom, "I want to do whatever it is that you want. Whatever makes you comfortable."

"Do you hate me?"

Spike held up his hands dismissing her question immediately, "No, love. I couldn't hate you."

"You couldn't?"

"No."

"But you're upset with me," Buffy offered.

"It's possible. We both said some things the other night that I wish we hadn't said."

"Well, yeah, I distinctly remember you called me a –"

"Please, don't." Spike interrupted pained, "Don't take what I said and then use it to start a row with me again."

"So, you aren't sorry you called me a chit?"

"Fuck all. Yes, Buffy, I'm sorry. You have no idea."

"Are you though? You ordered me to leave. Why should I have to be nice to you?"

Spike walked over to her and stood just in front of her, "Because you know I didn't mean it."

"I don't know that."

"You're a bloody idiot-"

"First, don't call me an idiot. Bloody or otherwise." Buffy interjected.

Spike released a frustrated curse and said, "Look, I just got back from the grocery store. Picked up some food for the next few days, yeah? I'm going to make pasta tonight, and I was wondering if you might want some?"

Buffy blinked at the sudden change in the subject, "You want to talk about food in the middle of this conversation?"

"Yeah, I guess I do. I'm bloody well hungry, and at least it will give my hands something to do. Perhaps it will keep my mouth from spouting off something else that will piss you off."

Buffy let out a short laugh.

Spike raised his eyebrows, "Well?"

"Fine. But only because I'm hungry and pasta sounds good." Buffy pointed at him with a cautionary look.

Spike smirked and backed out of her room hitting the spiral staircase leading to the first floor.

Buffy pulled her thick sweater from her desk chair wrapping it around herself. She made her way down the staircase towards the kitchen where Spike was already pulling out various cookware and a stainless-steel colander.

"Who taught you how to cook?" Buffy asked sliding into one of the bar stools.

"Myself. Think about it, love. Dawn doesn't always cook for her parties, so sometimes when I was left to my own devices, I would google recipes. I couldn't get takeaway every weekend."

Spike moved over to the fridge pulling out different ingredients: onions, tomatoes, fresh basil, and a bottle of Riesling. He motioned to Buffy, and she shot him a disapproving look.

"You're going to peddle alcohol to a minor, tonight? That's the plan?"

"Two glasses and I'll cut you off." Spike pointed the bottle at her, "Giles would approve."

" _Giles_ lets Dawn and I have _one_ glass."

Spike pulled the wine bottle opener from the silverware drawer and started to work on the bottle.

"Fine, I'll drink two." Spike acquiesced.

"Congratulations, you're a responsible babysitter," Buffy replied sarcastically.

"Stop that. I'm not babysitting you."

"Aren't you though?" Buffy questioned teasingly.

Spike popped the cork and swiped two wine glasses from the cabinet. He slid one glass over to Buffy, "Shut up and drink that."

"A man with manners."

"So, I'm a man now? Two seconds ago, I was a babysitter." Spike fixed her with a fiery gaze.

Buffy gulped down the wine shooting him a smug look.

Spike rolled his eyes, "So, are you going to sit there and watch or help?"

Buffy slid off the bar stool and set her glass of wine down next to the oven, "I'm all yours, chef."

"Chop those tomatoes, assistant."

Buffy transplanted the tomatoes to the island. She located, with Spike's help, a cutting board and pulled a knife from the block on the counter. She began chopping the top and end of the first tomato.

"How are university applications going?" Spike asked turning on the gas stove with a pop.

"They're good. You know, I never considered the number of entrance essays you have to write. I'm getting my AP Literature teacher and a few others to review them before final submittal."

"So, you've decided where you're applying then?" Spike asked with heightened interest.

"Well there's the University of California at Los Angeles, but I'm also applying to California State and Southern California. I could always transfer into UCLA after I've gotten all of my core classes out of the way. Either way, if I want to pursue counseling UCLA is the ultimate goal," Buffy turned to look at Spike who was facing the oven, "And, it's about 40 minutes away, so I could always come to visit on the weekends."

"Yes, UCLA at Los Angeles is where I currently attend. I transferred in from Santa Monica College."

"Cool," Buffy said with a wide smile and added, "Do you think Dawn will get into Berkeley?"

"Absolutely," Spike said without hesitation.

"Willow's applying there as well. She's applying to all of the first, second, and third tiers of Ivy Leagues. The University of California is her back up." Buffy paused for a moment and commented while chopping the last tomato, "It's funny how one person's dream is another person's back up."

Spike's gut pulled at her comment. He glanced over at her back. He stared at her unnoticed admiring the curve of her neck and the way her hair caught in her sweater. After a moment he realized he hadn't said anything and cleared his throat, "Are those tomatoes ready?"

"Yes."

Spike turned, brushing past her, and pulled the cutting board off the island sliding them into the saucepan along with a can of tomato paste and several spices including the fresh basil. He grabbed the knife from the island countertop and began to chop up the onion.

Buffy walked back over to her glass of wine and quietly sipped watching Spike mince the onion and drop into the saucepan. He pivoted and dropped the cutting board into the sink to rinse later.

"Pasta?"

"Yes, can you go over to the cabinet and grab the Angel Hair Pasta, please love." He grabbed a pot he'd set out earlier and filled it with water setting it on another element turning the knob in the on position.

"Now we supervise and watch the sauce. Don't want it to burn." He commented quietly turning from the oven to face the blonde across from him. He stared at her for a moment before walking over towards the fridge to collect his glass of wine.

"Hey," Buffy said quietly, "Can I ask you something?"

"Maybe, depends on the question," Spike replied with a smirk.

Buffy gave him a disapproving, "I'm serious" she explained. She took a breath, "What happened with you and Dru?"

"So, the last time we talked about this, we got into a fight." Spike's voice sounded strained as he plucked a wooden bamboo spoon from a caddy next to the stove. He took a large gulp of his wine and turned back to check the tomato sauce stirring it with the spoon.

"Do you want to know or do you want to know how you compare?" he added over his shoulder.

Buffy was taken aback by his question. _Did he honestly think that was the reason she was asking?_ She assured, "No, that's not at all why I'm asking. Why would I compare myself to her? That sounds ridiculous."

Spike turned back around and crossed his arms leaning against the counter, "Because you looked like you wanted to be anywhere else when I started talking about our relationship last time."

"I'm asking you because I genuinely want to know, Spike."

He looked at the floor for a long while. Buffy could tell his mind was thinking through a response. She remained quiet giving him the time he needed to get his thoughts together.

Finally, after a long pause, he sighed running a hand through his hair and began, "The night she left for college she broke up with me. I met her in high school, senior year. Her family was completely off their bird. Her parents were constantly fighting and dragging her into the middle of it. About midway through senior year, they filed for divorce. It was an ugly custody battle between Dru and her two younger siblings. Her parents had several investments and real estate to sift through during the divorce proceedings. So, Dru was over here all the time trying to avoid the situation, and at one point I offered for her to live here. When she brought up the idea to them, it upset them. So, I would say, that was the start of the wedge between us. I should have dumped her then. I should have seen the second she got a ticket out of here, she would leave everything behind. She got accepted to UPenn. I pushed her to go, and I planned to transfer to any school I could get into that was nearby after my freshman year. But she dumped me."

Buffy stared at the chipped black nail polish on his fingernails. After a moment, she whispered, "I'm sorry."

Spike shrugged, "I think I just gave so much to that one relationship that I checked out for a few years." His blue eyes were earnest as they stared into hers.

"At least you didn't push her away. You leaned in," Buffy offered and continued, "After my parents died, I completely pulled away from Angel. I made it impossible to get close to me, and he probably thought I was better off if he just left me alone. Once I found out I was moving here, it was the final nail. When we broke up, there wasn't much to it. The easiness of how it ended was sad considering we'd been dating for so long. He came over to help me pack some of my things because Giles was out of town on business. When Angel left, he kissed me on the forehead and said bye. That was it. No offer to call me or anything."

"He seriously hasn't reached out to you since you moved?"

"No. That solidified it for me. That our relationship had run its course."

"He's an idiot," Spike remarked sourly.

"Maybe, well, so is Dru….but the women you've brought back here."

Spike fixed Buffy with an intense stare, "What?"

"You weren't serious about them."

Spike fixed her with a cautious gaze, "Buffy, you make me sound like a bad person. They knew what I wanted."

"Oh?" Buffy retorted.

"Don't be like that, Buffy."

"Don't be like what?"

"You know what I'm talking about." Spike countered fixing her with a knowing look.

"Enlighten me."

"You're jealous, love," Spike spoke slowly.

A laugh bubbled from her mouth, "Jealous of what?"

"I've been with other women. It makes you uncomfortable."

"Experience doesn't make me uncomfortable. There seems to be a lot of unresolved issues going on over there," Buffy motioned to Spike's person, "and I'm not sure if I want to put myself in the middle of it."

Spike tried to conceal the pain that crossed his face, but Buffy could tell her statement hurt.

He replied, "Okay," and turned to stir the sauce and check the pasta cooking in the adjacent pot. He flipped the knobs on the oven off signaling that their food was ready.

"Can you get some plates?" He asked quietly.

Buffy walked over the designated cabinet and pulled out two plates.

"Do…you want to eat here or…?"

"The couch is fine. We could watch something?" Buffy asked hesitantly.

He nodded and stepped away from the oven motioning for her to go first. Once both of them had their food, Spike turned on the TV, and they sat down on the sofa. They ate in silence watching the cooking channel that it was left on by the previous TV user.

Buffy cleared her throat, "What I said in the kitchen didn't come out right."

Spike turned his body towards her taking a break from eating his pasta, "But, that's how you feel. Just like the night we fought. You can't help the way you feel. But…what exactly about me makes you afraid?" He took a sip of his wine and watched her consider a reply.

Buffy regarded him quietly, "Yes, but what I said that night wasn't right, and I'm doing it again. I just…I feel like when you say you've been with a lot of women it implies that _any_ woman wouldn't matter to you. I've never been able to do the casual thing with someone. I can't be vulnerable with someone and then find out that it was just a hookup. Call it being overly cautious."

"No, you are right to question me. Yes, after Dru and I broke up, I spent time with a few women. They wanted me, and the pleasure made me feel good. I've already told you that my relationship with Dru was very sexually intense. In some ways, I was probably trying to fill a gap left by her. But that was all it was. I haven't brought a woman home in a long while. I honestly haven't been able to think about anybody else recently, and school has kept me occupied this semester trying to nail down getting certified as a teacher. And I'm not saying all of this because I want something from you or I'm expecting a similar affirmation in return. I'm just trying to be honest with you, about my past…and my intentions." Spike admitted.

Buffy's heart clenched, and she said quietly, "I know. I'm sorry. Thank you for being honest."

"S'okay, love. You'll find that I'm quite forgiving. Especially when food is involved." Spike teased bumping her knee.

"So, we're okay?" Buffy whispered setting down her empty plate. She took a final sip of her wine placing the glass next to her empty plate.

"Yes, love."

"You're sure?"

Spike cocked his head to the side, pinning her with a stare that made her feel like the only woman in the world, "Buffy, I will never play games with you. I have been and can be a complete ass. I have plenty to apologize for, and I want to talk more. But for now, we're okay." He placed his plate on the coffee table. He shifted to the side to face her and leaned forward. His hand ghosted over the side of her face and cupped it pulling her towards him. He dipped down and pressed his trademark forehead kiss on her, but his lips lingered on her skin. Buffy knew by the way he remained and his irregular breathing that this wasn't just a familial peck on the head. This was different from the many kisses she saw him give to Dawn on her forehead. Buffy's heart was slamming against her chest, and her skin felt flushed. She agonized over whether he was going to kiss her. She could smell the Riesling on his breath. She imagined tasting his mouth would only intensify the buzz she had from the one glass of wine. After a moment, he exhaled and pulled back from her with a small smile.

Silently reflecting on their conversation, they dropped off their dishes in the sink. Spike convinced Buffy to watch a few episodes of Star Trek before bed. He continually teased her as they watched because she had never seen the show before.

After midnight Buffy eyed the clock on the cable box and admitted, "I should probably get to bed." She pulled her sweater tight against her body and stood up making her way over to the spiral staircase.

Spike watched her walk over across the room.

Buffy paused on the first stair and asked, "Will you…come up for a minute?"

"Of course, love," Spike replied. He shut off the lights downstairs and made his way over the staircase taking one step at a time towards her bedroom.

 **Just wanted to drop a line letting you guys know that I appreciate every follow and comment on this story. Let me know what you think about this Chapter. I'm happy that Spike and Buffy are back in a good place. Honestly, Chapter 8 had me wondering if it was a mistake, but I imagine that lots of wonderful chapters are ahead us. I'm not exactly sure how many chapters this fic will be, but we're close to the end. :)**


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